In a relationship, couples form several communication patterns over time, which is very difficult to change once it is set as a habit. While sometimes these patterns help a relationship prosper, at other times, it can become unhealthy and can have a huge impact on both the partners. Communication patterns, which are toxic and unhealthy, can lead to a lot of anger, hurt, unresolved conflict, and misunderstanding. These unhealthy communication patterns take a heavy toll over the time on the relationship.
While these patterns do not evolve overnight, it will take some time to grow healthier habits to replace these toxic patterns. However, there is a silver lining as it is possible to slowly change these toxic communication patterns and develop better ones over time.
Ways to Improve the Communication Patterns in Your Relationship
Give Your Full Attention:
Giving half your attention to your partner while he or she wants to have a conversation is a big problem in any relationship. Whether you are busy on your phone or watching the TV when your partner asks a question, offering only a part of your attention is a major issue in most of the modern relationships. There is only one way to mend this toxic habit – put away whatever you are doing at that point in time and listen to what your partner has to say. Keep the phone down or mute the TV when your partner is talking to you. In other words, all you need to do is to give them your undivided attention. Have a face-to-face conversation rather than yelling your response from another room. Giving your partner full attention can solve many miscommunication and in turn, can help the relationship blossom some more. It will also make your partner feel like they are an important part of your life in each and every step.
State the Facts:
While addressing an issue with your partner it is best to start out with the facts rather than leading the way with an assumption. This will not create any ambiguity amongst you and your partner and will ensure that both of you focus on the problem at hand rather than arguing about wrong assumptions. For example, if you think that your expenditure is getting out of hand, rather than blaming your partner straight away it is best to sit down together and plan your finances. This will not only help you solve the problem at hand but will also ensure that both of you understand the core issue.
Think and React:
Sometimes over time, we develop a habit of reacting in a certain way towards people over some particular actions. For example, if your partner asks you to do certain chores of the house and if you are used to getting irritated on him/her when they make this request, it is likely that you will be irritated every time such a request is made. So, the next time you act out of habit, take a breather and think for a moment. That pause can have a major impact on your behaviour towards your partner as it will make you think of your choice of words or body language as a response. Therefore, rather than reacting in the same way, try something new and positive. Carry out the chores with a smile and give your partner a hug. Such things can make a massive difference in your relationship.
Take Responsibility for Personal Behaviour:
When you are compromising or negotiating with your partner, it is best to use “I” messages and take account of your own behaviour and feelings. Blaming your partner instead of taking your responsibility will lead to unnecessary conflict in the relationship. So, instead of accusing your partner of not paying bills, say that you get worried when there is not enough money to pay for the utilities. This will not only diffuse further tension but will also help you solve the problem together.
Now that you know these effective ways to improve your communication patterns, it is best to adopt them in your relationship as soon as possible. Most problems can be resolved if you keep an open mind towards your partner.
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